Stop Doing This! - 2012 Not Hot List

One of my favorite things to say to people who have some sort of fashion critique of random people around town, at the bar or on the streets is "what are you, the fashion police?"--which of course makes me a huge hypocrite because

I spend a good majority of my time in public talking or at least thinking shit about the fashion decisions of others.  It's part of the people-watching experience for me and I have to assume it is for others as well, and I love it.  So it's pretty hypocritical that one of my favorite things to randomly say to people who have some sort of fashion critique of others is "What are you, the fashion police?!"  I mean, its 100% hypocritical and absolutely makes me an asshole, but guess what, it's fun to say.  So screw it.

Seriously though, try it.  You get to take the moral and social highroad(you're sooo shallow bro), thus making the other person feel like a total dick and you usually get a laugh out of anyone else that's around.

Today, however, I AM THE FASHION POLICE.  And some of these things that you all are wearing needs to stop.

Socks peaking above the boots:
For some reason the ladies of San Francisco seem to think this is a cute way of adding some personal flair or splashing something unique onto their otherwise drab attire.  It's tacky looking, ruins any illusion of sexiness that you thought your boots might be doing for you and makes you look more like a hobo than anything.

Wedge Boots:
The seamless non-distinction from leg-to-heel-to-foot makes your foot look like a hoof.  Centaur's are not hot.

Football jerseys on grown men:
The jerseys they sell to fans aren't even cut the same way as the the jerseys worn by players so it's not like it's "just like the one" your girlfriend Tom Brady wears.  It makes you look like your big brother gave you his lucky jersey to wear during the big homecoming game.

Fancy up top, yoga pants below:
I'm a huge supporter of casual wear and I'm definitely not mad at yoga pants, god bless'em in fact.  But if you're going casual, go all the way.  Pick a lane and go with it.  You can't go business up top and yoga pants below, it's the mullet of outfits.  We all know what you did, it's lazy and the "oh I'll just throw this over some yoga pants" attitude makes me think you may not have showered.

Studded anything on dudes who aren't in metal or punk bands:
The forced, over the top "toughness" is so obvious it screams "please help! I'm very fragile".

Messy/Rollover boots:
There is nothing attractive or alluring or stylish about this boot.  It's ugly, its messy aesthetic is very unappealing to the eye and it has a very walk-of-shame-y type vibe to it.  It's very unbecoming to blindly follow trends ladies.