Door Guy Chronicles - 3/23/2013

My first weekend back at the bar since the bachelor party in Arizona, and for the first time in I think ever, time actually flew by while standing and watching other people get fucked up.  Having something I actually gave a shit about watching on the TV always helps, so the weekend’s NCAA tournament games were much welcomed (despite the fact that the only person I’m beating in the tournament pool is the guy who picked teams based on who he thought would have the most black guys – UCLA over Minnesota, for example). 

The other thing that helps time go by is showing up 30 minutes late and high as balls.  That’s what I did Saturday.

Sure, I got my wrist slapped a teensy bit, but it was worth it.  I enjoyed my night and it really helped mellow out the buzz I had from drinking the five previous hours.  That is, as we call it in the business, dedication to the craft.

Like I said, it was a lovely weekend:

• Because of the NCAA tournament, I’ve noticed people seem to be a little extra collegiate.  Somewhere in conversation someone asked me where I went to school and did that whole fake interested thing, just waiting for their turn to talk again.  So when I said San Francisco State, the person said what all new-jack assholes say, “I mean, that’s basically not even San Francisco, right?”  Don’t be this person.  San Francisco State was established in 1899, the Sunset IS San Francisco; you got here a couple years ago - Scoreboard
  
• I’m always secretly embarrassed for people who have birthdays in the 1990’s.  There was a group of about 20 of these people who showed up together, and all but two or three of them had ID’s that were cracked down the middle.  I know what it looks like when people use their ID to try and pick a lock or open a door, but I have no idea what causes this.  I hope I’ve stumbled upon some new drug fad thing the kids are all doing
• I saw a platinum blonde asian girl.  You don’t NOT notice something like this
• A dude came up to me and said his boyfriend was a 28-year-old law school student who didn’t have his ID, asking if I could make an exception and let him in.  Knowing exactly what my friend Tommy would say, I put the law student on the spot and asked, with what he knows about the law, should I let him in without ID.  He dejectedly said no, I shouldn’t.  I was going to let him in either way, but I really appreciated the honesty
• Learned that one of our regulars used to be a tour manager for Janis Joplin and The Grateful Dead.  This is the type of shit I love about San Francisco
• I love when our bartender from Pacifica has his friends come in.  There’s something great about the way bay kids getting hyphee can loosen up a crowd and liven things up a bit
• The scent of bacon wrapped hot dogs was looming - such a beautiful thing.  I’ve been calling them “Club Dogs” forever because they always have ‘em outside of clubs.  Is this a thing? Do other people call them “Club Dogs?”